The main thing I look for in my writing, and in a story, are characters that I understand. I don't have to agree with them. But my goal in writing for Tom was and is to understand him, how he thinks, and why he makes the choices he does, and to bring the audience into that experience. Specifically, from a psychological point of view, nature and nurture, and how the two aspects combined to make the character and influence them as they develop. Basically, the Psychology of Characters. Doing that for over four years, it still intrigues me and I'd like to know how others accomplish this feat, if they enjoy it, and so on.

Okay, any who know me know that I of course delved into Riddle. Even after years of examining and probing his character in writing and discussing, he still intrigues me.

It isn't just some of the more obvious contradictions, like him being a Mudblood who hated Mudbloods. I think from his background < or as I see his background > of being magical in a Muggle world where it probably wasn't accepted, and not having the best childhood or much encouragement, he had to do most things himself. Why I don't think he had the best childhood is based on his dislike of Muggles. Not only did his father abandon him, in his eyes, but I think it's possible that he had a bad time at the orphanage, was regarded with suspicion or distaste. And with his intellect, he was probably constricted and aching for more, feeling he could do so much.

Hogwarts gave him that chance, and I think finding out about his legacy meant so much to him. It gave him a family, a heritage, which he wanted to honor. Things that Salazar said made sense to him, partly be his environment, and partly by his own being. I think Tom was very shrewd and ambitious, and he proved himself to be at Hogwarts.

What intrigued me a great deal was the juxtaposition of his seemingly calm, confident and indifferent/unaffected front, and moments of clear emotion. Harry’s words certainly got to him at parts, and I think, much as Tom wouldn’t want to act like this, he could at times be incredibly childish. < This could just be me, but when he said, ‘Dumbledore’s been driven out by the mere memory of me,’ it just screamed, ‘Nyah, nyah, nyah, take THAT!’ to me. Just said more eloquently, but the petulance and loss of control was there. > I think he never really allowed his emotions to develop, so when he couldn’t suppress or control them, they could erupt in lashing out or childish ways at times. But this wasn’t that often, in my mind. I think he tried to learn to control them early on.

I don’t like to think of him as evil from birth, either < though NOT an innocent, victimized angel either. > It’s not as interesting to me if he’s just psycho from birth. Nor does it really impact me when I see the rage and pain he still holds over his father and past, and how that affected him along with the choices he made, to think that he would have just been a murderer regardless.

I don't know if Voldemort lost sight of his original goals so much as that they just slowly adapted to fit what happened to him. I think he desperately wanted to succeed, to put aside everything he knew of and was told at the orphanage. I think he nurtured a deep hate of Muggles, and it was even more pointed when he found out about his legacy and what Salazar thought. How much he learned about Salazar we don't know, but we can assume he knew of the Chamber and its purposes, or at least believed them.

I think by nature he could easily have been very selfish, or been predisposed to being so. That was only exacerbated by having possibly distanced himself from those around him at the orphanage. Not a 'nice' person by nature, and found that being powerful and in control meant he could accomplish what he wanted. With no role model to give him morals, he doesn't really see anything as 'right' or 'wrong' but as advantageous or not. This doesn't mean Parts Per Liter didn't try to guide him, he very well could have shunned them after a certain point. But I think he learned to rely upon himself early on. I see him as always trying to be strong and not rely on others, and his intellect could have made it easy for him to dismiss others. Arrogant, I think he was. Yet still, a bit self-loathing < because of the Muggle part that he tried to dispel. > Also not utterly confident, because I think he had things he wanted to prove to himself. Be it to live up to the potential that those in his childhood had tried to squash or not, I think he worked hard to ‘perfect’ himself to what he wanted to be. Impenetrable and in control. To prove, at least in the beginning, that he DID have such great talent and potential. Justify the very arrogance that might have been necessary for him to have had to survive. I think he saw it as his only means to survival, through power, because of his past and personality. He wouldn’t want to show weakness to others.

Power was also big, to be in control with him I think was vital. Possibly from his childhood he harbored a desire to be in control. I think a time came where he did just begin to regard everyone around him as 'objects.' He might form attachments, but I think they come second to his own perceived well being. I don't see him having qualms about sacrificing someone for his own good, as Voldemort. Not only does he not value humanity, but also having the mentality that, when it comes down to it, he comes first.

Death he can't control, and his fear of it goes along with his fear of not being in control. It also represents humanity, a part of him he possibly perceives as weak. He wants to wipe those hindrances out of him, through magic or through behavior. I think he tried to harden himself as a child, and was successful. It worked for him, or so he thought, so he continued down that path.

The issue of control also plays into why he can't 'love.' I don't think he was born physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of it. < This is Tom Riddle I'm speaking of, not Voldemort. > There are some things that the love issue that struck me:

Love is dependant upon another. NOT that you can't love someone who doesn't love you back. Simply that BY loving another, you open yourself up to them. You let them have an affect upon you, one that you can't fully control. Tom, who has built his life in my eyes to be utterly independent, would find this less than appealing. He wouldn't want to let himself love, and I think his will is strong enough to prevent himself from letting others reach him. This type of love is not merely romantic; it can apply to all love: familial, friendship, and erotic. Tom tries to show that he doesn't care, but it is obvious that his father still has an effect upon him. Not that he loves his father; just that there is a connection. He wouldn't want to feel strong emotion for another, to risk getting hurt or being manipulated. He also has convinced himself of his greatness, while wanting to simultaneously 'improve' himself, to eradicate the weaknesses inside of him. Some of those traits are what makes up humanity, I think. He focuses his energies and emotions upon a goal, and love isn't one of them. I think a person would have to go through great lengths to even hope of reaching him. He wouldn't want to admit another was worthy, I think, because his ego is so fragile even as it's so huge. He doesn't want to be proven wrong about anything by another, nor does he want to risk being hurt. He acts based on reason and intellect < or at least he tries to, at times. > Only, his goals are formed out of emotion, such as hate, pain, and even a longing to live up to the ideals of the only family he knows < Salazar. > Love, then, in the sense of connecting with another is either avoided or looked down on as a liability, or even seen derisively as 'Lust with mutual benefits desired.' He doesn't WANT to need anyone, both because he thinks he's above it, and because he's afraid to let another really in. Especially when he's so conflicted over himself at times and trying to sort that out. < The whole ego and Mudblood aspect of him. > I think he's good at deluding or suppressing or diverting these issues, twisting them to his whim, but is never entirely successful. So, I think he can love, but it would take a whole lot of breaking down the foundations he'd already constructed within himself, and I don't think he'd want to let go of them. On some levels, I think he would like to be loved and taken care of, and for more than just because of curiosity of the unknown. It's human to want to connect, even if he suppresses and eventually eradicates that urge from himself. But that same prospect terrifies him, and he likes to stay where he's confident and not dependant upon another.

It's a combination of choice and chance, the individual self dealing with the environment and situations that happen to them or that they create. Someone else without Tom's personality might have turned out differently, as might Tom had had his environment been different. I think he reacted, as everyone does, to their situations, and he made choices based on what he was like and what he was given. Did he make the right choices? That could be debated, and whether he wanted to turn out exactly as Voldemort did could be debated. But I think the goals of wiping out the humanity in him, of being in control and seeking vengeance for all the hate and anger he bottled up, he never lost. I think Harry's also a bit of an obsession with him, because he's not used to losing. I think he has a big ego, or thinks so little of others, that he thinks things should turn out as he wants them. Losing just ruins every foundation of him being better < not just different, but superior > to others that he might have begun building while still at the orphanage.

I think Tom might have thought Dumbledore was always against him. I think it's possible that he knew he could never fully charm Dumbledore, and therefore took the attitude that Dumbledore was irrationally against him and Slytherins, because he didn't want to think there was someone he couldn't charm. That assumption could have turned him off of Dumbledore, or made him not trust or value Dumbledore. But, Dumbledore might very well be more wary of Slytherins, though not to the point of never giving them a chance, but having a slight presumption about them in his head...I'm not sure. And he might have been so with Tom specifically from the beginning, sensing his potential but just not quite trusting him. Using intuition.

What does everyone else think? See any conflicting aspects to his character? They all made sense to me, when I thought about it, and made him into such a deep character the more I examined him. And his interactions with Dumbledore and his descent into Voldemort, and how that happened, have always fascinated me.

It's kind of funny, in a sad way, that he tried to do away with his past. And yet, because of that, his past was always a part of him, being part of what drove him forward. Subconsciously or in a suppressed fashion, but it was there. At least, I think so.

-Kate Lynn

End.